The Brazilian Wandering spider also known as the Banana spider is one of the most deadly spiders in the world. They contain a neurotoxin which they gleefully inject into their victims. Instead of parking themselves on cozy webs, they feel compelled to walk around the forest floor, hiding in various locations and attacking unsuspecting people. They have been known to hitch rides on banana boats bound for the United States. Ever see the movie "Arachniphobia"? That one single poisonous spider mates with "regular" spiders creating nasty hybrids which commence a mission to take over the city, state and then the world. Who’s to say that couldn’t happen?
So think about that the next time you’re at the store and ready to reach for those bananas. Are there Banana spiders lurking? Did they lay eggs on these bananas? Am I paranoid? No. This is just one of many bizarre thoughts that clutter my mind. And what about Spider Monkeys? Part spider? Part monkey? And are there such things are Monkey Spiders? I’ve never seen one, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

Do you believe in UFO’s? I do. I’ve seen ‘em! Before you deem me an insane alien freak, please hear me out. My friend and I were driving down the freeway one afternoon when IT happened. A UFO came flying down from the heavens and crashed into the roof of the car and bounced off. I looked at my friend and she looked at me and said "Did you see that?" I said "Yes, I think it was a chunk of concrete?" It flew by so fast that neither one of us got a good look, so she declared it a UFO. Which in all truthfulness it was! Since UFO is an acronym for Unidentified Flying Object, it fit the bill! We couldn’t positively identify it and it was flying and it’s an object, hence UFO. Fortunately there was no damage to the car and we didn’t see any little footprints coming from the crash site, so it must have been a rock or chunk of concrete.

Tofu is a wonderful food product. Made from soy curd, it is a good source of soy isoflavons and protein. But Tofu has a dark side. No one has ever dared to discuss it until now. In it’s most evil form it masquerades as other food products misleading the unsuspecting victim and devouring them into it’s gelatinous realm. You may find yourself laughing right now at this absurd sounding accusation. But I assure you that by the end of this dissertation you will be a believer! *end of dissertation*

The contents of this page and this entire website were created WITHOUT ANY DRUG usage. So why is that scary? Because that means my "normal" mind is very warped.

Do: Let go of the tow rope when you fall down wake boarding...that is unless you enjoy being dragged underwater and nearly drowning.

Don’t: Submarine your Sea Doo. I know, it’s tempting and fun, but I’ve been informed it’s not fun to dredge it up from the bottom of a lake.