
Interviewer: How’s life going for you, Billy?
Billy: Terrible! My pet armadillo, Archie, died the other day. I tried to flush him down the toilet. Ya know,
like you do with a goldfish or hamster. But it didn’t work. I didn’t realize he was too big for that.

Billy: Now he’s stuck halfway in there and staring back at me. It’s pretty pathetic looking. I
tried to pull him out, but he’s wedged in there really good. So I can’t use that bathroom anymore.
And now I think it’s backing up the other pipes in the house.

Interviewer: Why don’t you call a plumber?
Billy: And have him see this armadillo halfway down a toilet??? No way! He’d probably think
I was some kind of weirdo! Which I am, but the world doesn’t need to know.

Billy: Perhaps I should have just flung Archie over the fence into my neighbor's pool and let him deal with a dead, rotting
armadillo.
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