
Do you remember the Mars Rover that NASA sent up a while back? Well it’s not on Mars, it’s
in my yard. Been harassing me mercilessly.

I hate it. Miserable little wretch. When I walk outside I have to watch out. It lurks in the bushes
waiting for the most opportune time to strike. That stupid thing is always chasing me and tries to
pinch my bottom. It’s ran over the cat’s tail so much that there’s a kink in it. The other day it
zoomed under my car and yanked the muffler right off! It’s equipped with a camera and has been snapping photos of me going
about my business and sending them to every tabloid in the nation.

So I called NASA and informed them about the situation. I said, "Come pick up your toy!"
They said "Sure, Mr. Joel, we’ll take care of it right away." Yeah right. Wouldn’t you know it, I
turn on the news that night and their top story is "Alien Life Found On Mars" and they show a
picture of me! The next day I had the UFO Society and all these other freaks on my door step
wanting to interview me, have their picture taken with me and want me to demonstrate my alien
powers.

Enough already! What do you guys want from me? I’ve heard of "Don’t mess with Texas" but I
didn’t know the same applied to NASA.
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