Interviewer: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
Billy: One time my cousin Declan and I were playing catch with a fruitcake at the local landfill.
Billy: I told him go long and I heaved that fruitcake as hard as I could at him.
Interviewer: Did he catch it?
Billy: No. It hit him in the head and he lost his balance and fell into an incinerator. What a
sight. I mean that fruitcake exploded like an H-bomb!
Interviewer: How tragic.
Billy: Yeah. Aunt Beatrice and Uncle Arthur were really pissed off that we ruined one of
grandma’s homemade fruitcakes.
Interviewer: Um what about the loss of your cousin? That must have really made an impact on
your childhood.
Billy: Childhood? This happened two weeks ago. And my cousin is fine. A little on the crispy
side but he’s ok. Said he never wants to see me again. That family takes their fruitcake way too
seriously.
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