Under Control

Billy: What?
Wife: Where are the kids? I thought you were watching them?

Billy: Aw you worry too much honey. The kids are fine. I’ve got everything under control.
Wife: Where are they?

Billy: Out back. I gave them a blow torch and fire crackers and told them to take care of the gopher problem in the yard.
Wife: You didn’t!
Billy: Nah, I’m only kidding.
Wife: *breathes a sigh of relief*
Billy: I know you think those gophers are cute, so I told the kids to go after the rattlesnakes.
Wife: AAAAHHHH!